what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
