I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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