TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
