And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
