Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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