the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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