She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
