just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
