i need an iv and a liver transplant
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
