Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
