this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
