Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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