I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
