If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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