I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
