A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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