I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
