yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
