I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
