She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
