I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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