Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
