what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
