chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
