I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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