Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
