everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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