Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
