you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
