yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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