never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
