shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize