we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
