Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Two words: nipple clamps
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