Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
