You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
