I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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