hotel room ftw
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
