Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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