My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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