dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize