I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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