I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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