I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
