fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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