READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
