remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
4 words: hood of his car
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize