what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
