i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
