I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize