yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
