Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
