It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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