I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize