I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
