Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You pole danced in your parka.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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