Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
