I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
