at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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