im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
