I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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